


Life is No Picnic

by MisMiz (Jaaaaack51)



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, F/M, Feelings, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Friendship/Love, Gen, Locked In, Platonic Romance, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 01:06:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6401704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaaaaack51/pseuds/MisMiz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Picnic Game as a metaphor for Life and Love. Or not. They could have just been passing the time, too. I don't know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life is No Picnic

LIFE IS NO PICNIC

“I told you not to push that button.” Clara Oswald turned her head to the side and glared at her companion.

“No. You said you didn’t _think_ I should push that button. That’s not the same thing at all.” He raised an eyebrow as her glare intensified.

“Semantics, Doctor? A bit beneath you isn’t it?” Now it was her turn to raise an eyebrow as he frowned at her. 

“Not really. Semantics are very important. In fact there’s a planet I know where the wrong semantics can be a death sentence. Literally. I…”

“Just…stop talking. And start thinking. I am cold and hungry and I have a date in an hour and I’m pretty sure I have slime in my hair from those…what were those things?” 

“Giant slugs. Their true name would twist your tongue into knots trying to say it. Best you shouldn’t even try.”

Silence reigned for several minutes as Clara got to her feet and prowled around the room, searching futilely for an opening of any kind that would allow them to escape from the small featureless room they were currently trapped inside. 

“A date? Didn’t you just have one of those?” The Doctor broke the silence, his voice echoing loudly in the small room.

“It was a week ago! And I was an hour late thanks to you!” Clara stopped pacing and turned to face The Doctor, hands on hips.

The Doctor rolled his eyes and muttered something Clara pretended not to hear. Then with a sigh, she went and sat back down next to him on the floor, leaning back against the wall in an attempt to get comfortable. 

“So how long do you think we have before the giant slugs manage to find us?” 

“Oh. I’d say we have a good 3 hours and 12 minutes.” The Doctor did not elaborate further and a good twenty minutes or so passed where neither of them spoke and the only sounds that could be heard were the occasional sigh from Clara and the steady tapping of the Doctor’s fingers on the hard floor.

“Well, if I’m going to miss my date and my dinner, you owe me. Let’s play a game.” Clara nudged The Doctor when he didn’t respond.

Shush. Trying to think here.”

“No you’re not. I know what your thinking face looks like and that’s not it.”

“I’ll have you know all my faces are thinking faces.“ The Doctor huffed, a bit offended.

“Fine. They’re all thinking faces.” Clara rolled her eyes. “But not all of them are equally good at it.” 

The Doctor couldn’t really argue this point. “Can we play cribbage, then? I’ve always wanted to play cribbage. Think I’d be quite good at it.”

“We haven’t got any cards.”

“Well there you go then. I’ll just get back to my nap…errrr my thinking.”

“I knew you weren’t thinking!” Clara accused, jabbing a finger into his side.

“Ouch! Fine. If I play a game will you stop assaulting me?”

“Depends on how well you play.” Clara replied loftily. 

“I am The Doctor. I excel at games.”

“We’ll see about that.” Clara folded her arms and sat up straighter. “I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing a soufflé.”

“Why would you bring a soufflé on a picnic? Rubbish idea. Those things are impossible to.” The Doctor stopped with a startled yelp as Clara jabbed another finger into his side, harder this time.

“I am also bringing my favorite jumper.” She continued, ignoring The Doctor’s reproachful look as he rubbed his side.

“Oh. The fuzzy blue one? I like that one.” The Doctor nodded appreciatively. 

“Yes. That one.” Clara smiled.

“What else are you bringing?”

“That cake from that one planet.”

“The one with the pink sky?”

“And the pink cake.” She reminded him.

“Yes. I remember. You were quite fond of that cake. Ate so much of it I was afraid you might not fit into that blue jumper you’re bringing on this picnic.”

“I seem to remember you eating your fair share.” Clara pointed out.

“Well, it was very good cake.” 

“I am also bringing…” 

“Me? Can I come on this picnic? You already have pink cake so you don’t need your pink boyfriend. That would be entirely too much pink.” The Doctor interrupted her, waving his hands around for emphasis.

“Yes, Doctor. You are one of the things I’m bringing on this picnic.” Clara spoke softly, bowing her head so that her hair fell partially across her face making her expression hard to see.

“Splendid. Just make sure you bring enough cake.” The Doctor rubbed his hands together in glee. “So what else are you bringing on this picnic that you lo…” He stopped suddenly, a myriad of expressions flashing across his features.

Whatever response Clara might have made was lost as a set of doors suddenly appeared in the far wall, opening to reveal a meadow rife with wildflowers with the familiar blue of the Tardis among them. It was also rife with giant slugs.

“A bit earlier than I anticipated. This is what happens when you interrupt my nap. Do my best thinking then.” The Doctor muttered under his breath as they leapt to their feet.

“What did you say?” Clara asked as she ran towards the doors.

The Doctor waved a hand dismissively. “Never mind that. Did I win?” The Doctor replied breathlessly as they raced out the doors and across the meadow, giant slugs in hot pursuit. The giant slugs were surprisingly fast. 

“That remains to be seen Doctor. That remains to be seen.” Clara sprinted through the Tardis doors with The Doctor hot on her heels.

“I demand a rematch.” The Doctor huffed, pushing several buttons on the Tardis console seemingly at random.

“Later Doctor. Right now I have slime in my hair so I am going to take a shower and then you are going to buy me a very nice meal at a very expensive restaurant.”

“Well, apparently the saying that Life is No Picnic has some merit.” The Doctor grumbled.

Clara smiled sweetly. She had the upper hand here for now and she was going to enjoy it while it lasted.

The Doctor sighed. “Go take your shower. That slime is quite acidic. Wouldn’t do to leave it in your hair too long.” As Clara fled with a shriek towards the showers, it was The Doctor’s turn to smile. He was quite looking forward to dinner.

The End

 


End file.
